Tonight.

I have made a really big choice, to leave Nick tonight. I know that it's the right thing to do. He treats me like his slave, and like nothing I do is good enough. I look forward to the days he has to go to work, and dread the days he doesn't work at all. I do everything that he wants me to do and all he does is yell at me and call me a whore and things like that. I don't know what I do to deserve to be treated like this. I can't take it anymore. I am tired of being emotionally abused, and sometime physically abused by him. I treat him so well, and I give him all I have everyday. But I no matter what I do I get treated like a servant that he makes have sex with him. Ugh, I can't do this anymore. My mom wont let me keep my cat. So I don't know what to do with her. I am so nervous. :/ I know that I need this. I have been thinking about this everyday. And now is the time to do it. I am going to give the ring he gave me from his grandma to Hope. I have to leave the computer, obviously. And I wont be able to talk to Hope that much anymore. But I will be able to be myself..finally. I have been dying to act like myself and not have to watch everything I say. Gosh, things used to be really good between Nick and I. I don't even know when things turned sour. I can't even wear clothes that I want without having to worry about if he is going to be mad at me for it. 
I knew that my mom wouldn't tell me that I can't come home. I need to apply for jobs while I can online. Maybe Lona will give me my phone back. Ha! I doubt it. I don't know if I should go pack now or later. I am thinking now, just so I know that I don't forget anything.
I am doing the right thing.
I am doing the right thing.
I am doing the right thing.
I am doing the right thing.
I am doing the right thing.
Am I doing the right thing?
I have to keep reminding myself of all the horrible days I go through. And not remember the good times. They very few good times that we have had. I will be able to act the way I want now. I am so scared that Hope and Jeff are going to be mad at me. Hope says that she isn't. But it scares the hell out of me. She means a lot to me. I wont be able to see Shannah and the kids much anymore. I hope Nick doesn't quit his job. He will probably have to get up to watch Jeffrey tomorrow. Hope said she is just going to ask Kim if she can watch him. But, I don't want that burned on her. I feel like he is my responsibility. Even though I know he is Cory's.
Ugh. I am going to go smoke a cigarette.