Change?

So I ended up going home with my mom yesterday while Nick was at work. Hope told him where I was, and he started walking to Bronson from Sturgis. He walked for 4 hours until someone picked him up. I bet he can't wait until his car is fixed now. Lol. But we are still together. And hopefully things will get better. They were really bad. Our relationship was going downhill...fast. And I just couldn't take it anymore. He has started to act better and be better to me. But I just hope things don't go back to the way they were. We both agree'd that the past cannot come up anymore, and we can't let the past mistakes dictate how our future will be. I told him he when he gets mad at me he can't bring up the fact that I went to my mom's house either. We ended up walking part of the way to Coldwater until a cop picked us up. It was the strangest thing to ride in a cop car. I had a bag in my purse, it didn't have anything in it; but it was still nerve wrecking. Nick told work that he had to leave early yesterday because a "family emergency". I guess they aren't mad at him and he didn't lose his job. Thank God. I hope Nick doesn't have to work late. But I know he needs to, to make up for the hours he missed yesterday. Ugh. He is going to hate tomorrow more than today. It is suppose to be 95 degrees tomorrow, but I guess it's suppose to be windy too. All I have to do tomorrow is watch Jeffrey. It's almost 1 am and it's 81 degrees out. ): This hot weather shit sucks. I am to the point right now where I am happy when Nick comes home, instead of dreading it. I love him with all my heart and I really didn't want to do what I did yesterday. But I couldn't deal with how badly he was treating me. I deserve a lot better than that. Somethings are still the same; like him wanting me to get his work clothes out, and make his lunch. But, I am hoping that he will learn how to take care of himself. I don't mind doing those things to an extent because he does work and I don't. He takes care of my financially. And I am very grateful for that no matter what anyone else says. I do my best not to ask for a lot and I think he thinks he isn't taking care of me unless he is buying me things. But, I am just not that type of girl. Ya know. The little things mean more to me than the big things. And I hope that doesn't change. Because he is making almost 11 dollars an hour and we don't pay rent anymore. But his car needs fixed and a bunch of other things. Lol. Ugh, I just don't know what to think about anymore. 


Nick and I have a Pines appointment tomorrow at 1 pm. And I have to take Jeffrey. ): It is going to be one longggg walk in the extreme heat. He can't call and cancel again because of court. 


Nick said that he is glad I did what I did yesterday (moving in with my mom) because he isn't sure if anything would of changed if I didn't do it. I have a headache. I just keep thinking that I am so scared that things are going to be like they were and that scares the shit out of me. I have been abused by him in too many ways. I couldn't take it anymore. He says that he loves me and I hope he means it like he says. I don't want to be his rebound. He has such a problem being alone. But he needs to learn to be happy with himself and by himself before he can be truly happy with someone else. I left him a letter telling him what I was doing. But Hope told him over the phone and he freaked out. She even read him the letter I wrote. I hope over all it was for the best. I guess now he knows that I wont put up with his shit and I'm not afraid to leave when I need to get myself out of a situation that isn't healthy. He is going to be mad when he gets home because Cory ate the rest of the chicken and potato wedges that Jeff made for dinner. I guess he will have to eat meatloaf. Ew. Anyway, I lost track of what I was saying before. Nick has to work late tonight. It's 1 am and he said the soonest he will be leaving is 3 or 4 am. It sucks..but it gives us our time apart, even though he is at work. We both know that we need our space and can't be too clingy. Things will get bad really fast if we kept that up. Ugh, anyway I guess it's off to bed all alone.