today.

today i stood up for myself.. well more like last night. i told nick how it is. i told him that if we don't change then our relationship wont work. and today he is acting better...he went out on a boat and i stayed home. he didn't seem mad. i hope he wont be when he comes back. mary came and got him and she told me to come and i told her no that i don't want to. i don't feel like getting burnt today and being out all day... but no one seemed to care about what i wanted. i don't know how to take how he is acting. he said he wont care either way if i go on the boat or not. so..we'll see. we are suppose to go light off fireworks tonight, and i just know that if i went on that boat that i wouldn't want to go when it's time to light off fireworks. ugh. hope, jeff, and the kids are going swimming around 1 and i don't want to go then either. i just want to stay inside for most of the day and relax. ugh, that sounds so nice. just a quiet day inside relaxing. (: i hope it doesn't get ruined.